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The 2,527th CyberAlert. Tracking Liberal Media Bias Since 1996
6:05am EST, Tuesday November 13, 2007 (Vol. Twelve; No. 200)
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1. ABC: High Gas Prices Cancels Church, Christmas and Doctor Visits
In one of the more hyperbolic segments to air on Good Morning America, ABC reporter Bianna Golodryga fretted that November's unusually high gas prices could lead to poor health, less church and no Christmas. On Monday's program, Golodryga warned viewers that unnamed "reports" allege that "some people are foregoing routine visits to the doctor and are opting for cheaper foods, like pasta and peanut butter, as opposed to protein, fruits and vegetables, in order that they can save as much money as possible" at the pump. The ABC reporter also managed to find an extreme example and introduced America to Juan Martinez of Phoenix, Arizona. According to Golodryga, the spike in prices has taken "a toll on the family's relationship with God." It seems as though the Martinez clan is cutting back on religious attendance due to the 40 mile journey trek to their church. (Are there no closer places to worship in the Phoenix area?) Additionally, GMA featured footage of Golodryga shopping with Martinez as Golodryga lamented: "Even holiday gift shopping won't be the same."

2. Only CBS Notes Fewest Rocket and Mortar Attacks in Two Years
Of the broadcast network evening newscasts on Monday night, only the CBS Evening News devoted a few seconds to some more good news from Iraq: How rocket and mortar attacks on U.S. forces fell to in October to the lowest level since February of 2006. Anchor Katie Couric read this short item on her November 12 broadcast: "Turning to Iraq now and another sign that violence there is decreasing. In October, insurgent rocket and mortar attacks fell to their lowest level in nearly two years. The U.S. military reported today there were 369 of those attacks last month. Rocket and mortar attacks peaked in June when there were more than a thousand."

3. Hillary's Planted Question Scandal Recalls ABC's Friendly Forum
On Sunday's Good Morning America, ABC co-host Kate Snow reported on the growing controversy over the Clinton campaign's planting of friendly questions at political events. At the same time, she ignored her own network's role in creating a similar cozy setting for the 2008 Democrat. In March of this year, GMA hosted a town hall event where Doctor Steve Eckstat, who was on Hillary Clinton's 1993 health care task force, just happened to be in the audience for the ABC event. Co-anchor Robin Roberts, who hosted the March 26 event, spun it this way: "Somebody that was there, and wants to ask you what is different now, between what happened then, and he is Dr. Steve Eckstat. He is, he works at the free clinic of Iowa. Doctor?" Eckstat's challenging question to the Democratic front-runner? He wanted to know if the former First Lady would be "willing to try again to provide universal health care coverage for all Americans and make that at priority for your administration?"

4. Whoopi Goldberg: U.S. 'Not as Free as it Was When I Was a Kid'
View co-host Whoopi Goldberg, an African American woman who grew up in the "Jim Crow" era of the 1950s and 1960s, claimed on Monday's show that America is "not as free as it was when I was a kid." When guest panelist Laura Ingraham called that "a disconnect," Joy Behar quipped: "Nobody was tapping into my phone when I was watching Howdy Doody." The November 12 program featured the noted conservative radio talk show host and author of Power to the People. Ingraham also put veteran journalist Barbara Walters on the defensive on the "do you want to win in Iraq" question.

5. MRC's Bozell Launches Hillary Book Tour on Hannity & Colmes
Brent Bozell, President of the MRC, appeared Monday night on FNC's Hannity & Colmes to discuss his new book published by Crown Forum, Whitewash: What the Media Won't Tell You About Hillary Clinton, But Conservatives Will. Sean Hannity called the book "timely," hailed how he "loved" it and admired how it "weaves together a story about Hillary that the media won't tell." Hannity and Alan Colmes also asked for Bozell's reaction to the low box office numbers for Robert Redford's anti-Iraq war movie, Lions for Lambs. Bozell suggested: "People don't want to go to a movie to see America's military trashed."

6. Bored of Late Night Re-Runs? 'NewsBusted' Comedy New This Week
The strike by writers means this is the second week of late night comedy show re-runs. But the MRC's "NewsBusted" comedy video show is not on strike! A new episode, in fact, was just posted this morning (Tuesday). While Leno, Stewart, Letterman, O'Brien, Ferguson, Kimmel and Colbert are all in re-runs because of the strike by the Writers Guild of America, the MRC's NewsBusted comedy video show -- with jokes about politics, Hollywood and media bias -- is fresh again this week. Check out the latest two-and-a-half-minute comedy show now at the top of the MRC's NewsBusters blog: http://newsbusters.org/

7. 'Top Ten Ways Hillary Clinton Is Trying to Improve Her Image'
Late Show's "Top Ten Contest" winners for the "Top Ten Ways Hillary Clinton Is Trying to Improve Her Image."


 

ABC: High Gas Prices Cancels Church,
Christmas and Doctor Visits

     In one of the more hyperbolic segments to air on Good Morning America, ABC reporter Bianna Golodryga fretted that November's unusually high gas prices could lead to poor health, less church and no Christmas. On Monday's program, Golodryga warned viewers that unnamed "reports" allege that "some people are foregoing routine visits to the doctor and are opting for cheaper foods, like pasta and peanut butter, as opposed to protein, fruits and vegetables, in order that they can save as much money as possible" at the pump.

     The ABC reporter also managed to find an extreme example and introduced America to Juan Martinez of Phoenix, Arizona. According to Golodryga, the spike in prices has taken "a toll on the family's relationship with God." It seems as though the Martinez clan is cutting back on religious attendance due to the 40 mile journey trek to their church. (Are there no closer places to worship in the Phoenix area?) Additionally, GMA featured footage of Golodryga shopping with Martinez as Golodryga lamented: "Even holiday gift shopping won't be the same." Apparently, there will be fewer Christmas presents this year.

     Now, gas prices are certainly high for this time of year. (The average price in mid-November 2006 was $2.23.) However, Golodryga has a propensity for over-the-top rhetoric. The extreme nature of Martinez's $538 November gas bill is an example of selecting a worst case scenario. But this kind of dialogue isn't new for Golodryga. In October, the Business and Media Institute noted her odd assertion that slow sweater sales signaled an impending economic crisis. See the Business and Media Institute for more: www.businessandmedia.org

     On Monday, she began the segment in front of a New York City gas station that seemed to be doing reasonable, if somewhat slow, business. The GMA correspondent ominously intoned, "I want you to take a look at this practically empty gas station behind me, shocking because it's usually packed with cars this time of morning." According to Golodryga, this was "another example" of Americans altering their routines in the face of high gas prices. Of course, she seemed to ignore the fact that many Americans had November 12 off in honor of Veterans Day.

     [This item, by Scott Whitlock, was posted Monday afternoon on the MRC's blog, NewsBusters.org: newsbusters.org ]

     The ABC network also helped out in the panic department. A graphic gloomily asked, "Can you Survive $4 a Gallon?" Perhaps in an attempt to conjure up images of bread lines, co-host Diane Sawyer teased the piece by promising to investigate what "your fellow Americans are doing to get by." At that point, another GMA graphic declared that the gas situation is going "from bad to worse."

     When gas prices inevitably correct downwards, can viewers expect GMA to report on all the Americans who will be rolling in money, ramping up their church attendance and splurging on gifts?

     A transcript of the segment, which aired at 7:11am on November 12:

     DIANE SAWYER: And gas prices have just gone up 30 cents a gallon in 30 days. The average family now paying $300 a month. What your fellow Americans are doing to get by. [ABC Graphic: From Bad to Worse]
     ....

     CHRIS CUOMO: File this under the category of sad but true. We can expect another new record for November gasoline prices when the government releases the latest numbers this week. Gas prices usually spike in the summer. Take a look at last year's price chart. You can see then they're supposed to go down during the winter months, but not anymore. Look what is happening this year. The national average for regular unleaded is now $3.08 a gallon. An all-time high record is expected for Thanksgiving weekend. Bianna Golodryga is out in New York City with more about this situation. Good morning, Bianna.
     ABC GRAPHIC: Gas Prices Soar: Can you Survive $4 a Gallon?
     BIANNA GOLODRYGA: Good morning, Chris. I want you to take a look at this practically empty gas station behind me, shocking because it's usually packed with cars this time of morning. It's just another example of how Americans are changing their everyday routine in the face of rapidly rising gas prices. Filling up his minivan cost Juan Martinez a mega-fortune.
     JUAN MARTINEZ: This month, I'm tracking $538.
     GOLODRYGA: He has the receipts to prove it.
     MARTINEZ (ABC GRAPHIC: FED UP BY FUEL PRICES): I just can't believe it's gone from $260 to over $500 a month. It's just doubled.
     GOLODRYGA: Skyrocketing gas prices are affecting this Phoenix area father of five across the board. Grocery shopping is scaled back to the basics.
     MARTINEZ: You can't just pick up everything the kids want. You know, you got to make sure to cut back on certain things so, you know, it's still affordable and it's within our budget.
     GOLODRYGA: Vacations will be short hops and even holiday gift shopping won't be the same.
     MARTINEZ: Not get as many presents as they are as accustomed to, as they would like.
     GOLODRYGA: It's even taking a toll on the family's relationship with God.
     MARTINEZ: Our church is approximately 35, 40 miles away. We've really cut down on the amount of times that we've come in to service since the price has gone up.
     GEOFF SUNDSTROM (AAA): These very high gasoline prices are coming at exactly the wrong time for millions of American families. It's a budget-buster and it will change their holiday spending patterns.
     GOLODRYGA: In places like San Mateo, California, the price of gas is already well over $4 a gallon. And with the average American family consuming 100 gallons of gas a month, the effects could be staggering.
     SUNDSTROM: We'll be seeing a gasoline credit card statement at the end of the month that says $400 a month.
     GOLODRYGA: Yet another bill Juan Martinez is terrified to look at. And for some Americans, high gas prices are not only affecting their wallets, they're affecting their health as well. There are reports that some people are foregoing routine visits to the doctor and are opting for cheaper foods, like pasta and peanut butter, as opposed to protein, fruits and vegetables, in order that they can save as much money as possible when they come up to fill up at the gas station. Diane, just a quick note: A few days ago, I was here. The price for regular was $3.17, just four days later, it's at $3.29. So, it is costing a lot.
     SAWYER: Woah. Four days later. Thank you, Bianna.

 

Only CBS Notes Fewest Rocket and Mortar
Attacks in Two Years

     Of the broadcast network evening newscasts on Monday night, only the CBS Evening News devoted a few seconds to some more good news from Iraq: How rocket and mortar attacks on U.S. forces fell to in October to the lowest level since February of 2006. Anchor Katie Couric read this short item on her November 12 broadcast: "Turning to Iraq now and another sign that violence there is decreasing. In October, insurgent rocket and mortar attacks fell to their lowest level in nearly two years. The U.S. military reported today there were 369 of those attacks last month. Rocket and mortar attacks peaked in June when there were more than a thousand."

     [This item was posted late Monday night on the MRC's blog, NewsBusters.org: newsbusters.org ]

     A Monday AP dispatch from Lauren Frayer in Baghdad, "Iraq rocket, mortar fire at 21-month low," reported:

Rocket and mortar attacks in Iraq have decreased to their lowest levels in more than 21 months, the U.S. military said Monday. In the capital, Iraqi officials said a taxi driver was shot dead by a private security guard hired to protect U.S. convoys.

Last month saw 369 "indirect fire" attacks -- the lowest number since February 2006. October's total was half of what it was in the same month a year ago. And it marked the third month in a row of sharply reduced insurgent activity, the military said.

The U.S. command issued the tallies a day after Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki said suicide attacks and other bombings in Baghdad also have dropped dramatically, calling it an end of sectarian violence....

     END of Excerpt

     For the AP story in full: news.yahoo.com

 

Hillary's Planted Question Scandal Recalls
ABC's Friendly Forum

     On Sunday's Good Morning America, ABC co-host Kate Snow reported on the growing controversy over the Clinton campaign's planting of friendly questions at political events. At the same time, she ignored her own network's role in creating a similar cozy setting for the 2008 Democrat. In March of this year, GMA hosted a town hall event where Doctor Steve Eckstat, who was on Hillary Clinton's 1993 health care task force, just happened to be in the audience for the ABC event.

     Co-anchor Robin Roberts, who hosted the March 26 event, spun it this way: "Somebody that was there, and wants to ask you what is different now, between what happened then, and he is Dr. Steve Eckstat. He is, he works at the free clinic of Iowa. Doctor?" Eckstat's challenging question to the Democratic front-runner? He wanted to know if the former First Lady would be "willing to try again to provide universal health care coverage for all Americans and make that at priority for your administration?"

     [This item, by Scott Whitlock, was posted Monday afternoon on the MRC's blog, NewsBusters.org: newsbusters.org ]

     At one point, it should be noted, Eckstat could be seen reading his lengthy "question." During the March event, Roberts admitted that the ABC program had allowed Clinton to pack the audience. She announced: "We have over 200 people, Iowans, that are here this morning to talk to the Senator. And we should say that 45 of the group, invited by the Clinton campaign to be here." During the segment on Sunday, Snow acknowledged that Clinton's campaign had directed a college student to ask a question on global warming earlier this month and the correspondent mentioned a second such occurrence at another event. However, she made sure to stress that these types of incidents play into the "stereotypes of Clinton as a tightly controlled machine." After several such examples, would ABC give the Bush administration the benefit of the doubt and still call them "stereotypes?" For more on the town hall event, see the March 27 CyberAlert: www.mrc.org

     A transcript of the March 26 exchange, as well as the November 11 GMA segment, follow:

     # March 26:

     ROBIN ROBERTS: What you said then in, in '93, many people felt it was just, in some ways, ahead of its, ahead of its time. Somebody that was there, and wants to ask you what is different now, between what happened then, and he is Dr. Steve Eckstat. He is, he works at the free clinic of Iowa. Doctor?

     SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON: Hello, doctor.
     DR. STEVE ECKSTAT: Morning. In 1993, I was a member of the Clinton Health Care Task Force when we were attempting to provide universal health care coverage of all Americans. We were unsuccessful, unsuccessful then and now the number of uninsured, 80 percent of whom are working families and individuals, has risen from 23 million in 1993 to over 46 million. If elected president, Senator Clinton, would you be willing to try again to provide universal health care coverage for all Americans and make that at priority for your administration?
     CLINTON: Well, doctor, I certainly would. It's one of the reasons why I am running for president. I thank you for your work back in 1993. We had a dedicated group of doctors and nurses, hospital administrators and so many others who were working literally around the clock to try to achieve a health care plan that would be available, guaranteed, affordable for every American. I think we're in a better position to do that today than we were back in '93 and '94. In part, because the number of uninsured has grown and it's hard to ignore the fact that nearly 47 million people don't have insurance. But also because, so many people with insurance have found it's difficult to get health care because the insurance companies deny you what you need. And so there are many millions of more people who have had that experience, either themselves or in their families. And a lot of businesses are now saying we can't continue to afford to do this and it's really hard for small businesses, but even for large business to complete in the economy, especially globally, if they have to pay the cost of health care. The other thing we have information about now is how much money we're not spending in the right way in our health care system. We spend more money than anybody in the world by a very big number, but we don't provide people insurance and we waste a lot of money and we don't get the best results. And we don't get the best results. So, for all those reasons, I believe the American people are going to make this an issue in the 2008 campaign. And as President, I believe I learned a lot back in 1993 and ‘94 about how to bring us together to actually start down the path of universal health care coverage. So, I'm very excited about it, because I know we can do this in America if we put our minds to it.

     # Sunday, November 11:

     KATE SNOW: Marysol, just after New Year's Eve on January 3rd, Iowa voters will be the first to cast their votes for the presidential candidates. Well, last night in Des Moines, the Democrats were in full sales pitch mode, and Hillary Clinton's team was defending her against the kind of charges that play right into stereotypes of Clinton as a tightly controlled machine. At the Jefferson-Jackson dinner in Des Moines last night, 9,000 Democratic party faithful.
     SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON: There are some who will say they don't know where I stand. Well, I think you know better than that.
     SNOW: It is the rubber chicken event for Democrats in Iowa. In dueling speeches, no one held back.
     SENATOR BARACK OBAMA: When I am this party's nominee, my opponent will not be able to say that I voted for the war in Iraq.
     SNOW: On this stage in this state, Hillary Clinton isn't so far out front. She and Barack Obama and John Edwards are virtually tied.
     DAVID YEPSEN (Des Moines Register): This is where something has to happen. They have to stop Hillary Clinton here, and so the challengers are pouring it on.
     SNOW: The latest line of attack, that Clinton's team has been planting questions in Iowa.
     UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE QUESTIONER: How does your plan combat climate change?
     SNOW: On Friday, Clinton's campaign confirmed a staffer had directed that college student to ask that question on global warming earlier this month. They said it wouldn't happen again. Then Saturday, a minister from Iowa said he'd been told by Clinton's Iowa political director to ask a question about funding for the Iraq War at an event last spring. The campaign says it was a casual conversation and not a planted question.
     SENATOR CHRIS DODD: That's not a terribly wise thing to do.
     SNOW: Clinton's rivals ran with it.
     FORMER SENATOR JOHN EDWARDS: My response is that's what George Bush does. George Bush goes to events that are staged where people are screened, where they're only allowed to ask questions if the questions are favorable.
     FORMER MAYOR RUDY GIULIANI: I think the biggest problem with the Clinton campaign is not whether they plant questions at events, it's the whole shifting positions of Hillary Clinton, which I think have now caught up with her.
     SNOW: It's criticism that plays well in Iowa. Caucus goers take their role very seriously and don't like any funny business.
     YEPSEN: They know they want to see the candidates perform, see how they stack up so that when they do make a decision that they're making the right choice.

 

Whoopi Goldberg: U.S. 'Not as Free as
it Was When I Was a Kid'

     View co-host Whoopi Goldberg, an African American woman who grew up in the "Jim Crow" era of the 1950s and 1960s, claimed on Monday's show that America is "not as free as it was when I was a kid." When guest panelist Laura Ingraham called that "a disconnect," Joy Behar quipped: "Nobody was tapping into my phone when I was watching Howdy Doody." The November 12 program featured the noted conservative radio talk show host and author of Power to the People. Ingraham also put veteran journalist Barbara Walters on the defensive on the "do you want to win in Iraq" question.

     [This item is based on a posting, by the MRC's Justin McCarthy, posted Monday on the MRC's blog, NewsBusters.org: newsbusters.org ]

     The relevant exchanges:

     INGRAHAM: It's a free country though right?
     GOLDBERG: Well, it used to be. I used believe that it was, and then a lot of-
     INGRAHAM: You don't think that it's a free country?
     GOLDBERG: Not as free as it was when I was a kid, no, no.
     INGRAHAM: I think that, that's a disconnect.
     BEHAR: Nobody was tapping into my phone when I was watching Howdy Doody.
     INGRAHAM: People are flooding into America, because we're free.

     Laura Ingraham also called out the co-hosts on The View, and in the elite media in general, on not reporting all of the good news that is currently coming out of Iraq. Barbara Walters jumped in to say that some things are going well and some are not. Laura Ingraham asked Barbara Walters if she wanted America to win, and Walters immediately grew defensive.

     INGRAHAM: We have, right now, in Iraq, really good news coming out of Baghdad. On Veterans' Day, I think we should talk about that. We have violence down, sectarian violence down, the Al Qaeda is being pushed out and the insurgents by the people of Iraq. And you can sit here, and you can stay with your narrative that we're big losers and that we're going to lose in Iraq. But the truth of the matter is things are turning around for the better, and we should recognize it right now.
     BEHAR: We're losing Pakistan now.
     INGRAHAM: Let's recognize it right now!
     [applause]
     BARBARA WALTERS: Laura, there's some things going on for the better.
     INGRAHAM: A lot of stuff is turning around for the better, Barbara, and you should be-
     WALTERS: There are some things that area not, and I think, I think this is a country that is still very unhappy about it. This is still a country that is-
     INGRAHAM: But could it change Barbara? Do you want win in Iraq?
     WALTERS: Of course we do! No, come on. Of course, we all want to win.
     INGRAHAM: Then just say you want to win, and if we're winning, we should be able to say. If things were turning around, we should say "you know something, it's not perfect. It's very difficult, but things are turning around."

     [...]

     WALTERS: The only thing that I was saying before I was shut off is that we all want things to be better in Iraq. Some things are. Some things are not. But if there are still things that you criticize about the way certain things are being handled, that does not mean that you do not support the troops, and that you do not pray that it all turns out okay.

 

MRC's Bozell Launches Hillary Book Tour
on Hannity & Colmes

     Brent Bozell, President of the MRC, appeared Monday night on FNC's Hannity & Colmes to discuss his new book published by Crown Forum, Whitewash: What the Media Won't Tell You About Hillary Clinton, But Conservatives Will. Sean Hannity called the book "timely," hailed how he "loved" it and admired how it "weaves together a story about Hillary that the media won't tell." Hannity and Alan Colmes also asked for Bozell's reaction to the low box office numbers for Robert Redford's anti-Iraq war movie, Lions for Lambs. Bozell suggested: "People don't want to go to a movie to see America's military trashed."

     For Flash video on You Tube of the segment with Bozell, as well as downloadable Real video, Windows Media video and MP3 audio, go to this page on the MRC's blog: newsbusters.org

     Bozell is scheduled to appear Tuesday morning at about 7:40 AM EST on FNC's Fox & Friends and later in the day on CNBC's 7 PM EST Kudlow & Company. He's also doing a lot of radio interviews over the next few days.

Bozell's book: Uncovering a Fifteen Year Love Affair

How could America's presidential front-runner be a woman who has held only one elective office and had staggering numbers of personal, political, and financial scandals?

How did the First Lady to a disgraced, impeached president become a presidential front-runner despite never having held elective office before 2001? And how did this happen given her staggering number of personal, political, and financial scandals -- and her leftist political agenda?

Authors L. Brent Bozell and Tim Graham peel back the layers of Hillary Clinton's success to expose the real shocker -- not Travelgate or Whitewater -- but a fifteen year love affair by the liberal media, starting with Time magazine, who first introduced Hillary Clinton to the country as an "amalgam of Betty Crocker, Mother Teresa and Oliver Wendell Holmes." The elite media's continued and unprecedented favoritism is the key to Hillary's mythic political standing. They have downplayed or ignored her every scandal and recast her ultra-liberalism as being in the political center.

What's even more stunning is the incredible number of stories that have been under-reported, excused and buried. To expose the truth, the authors interviewed dozens of leading conservatives who want Americans to hear the whole story, including Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Mark Levin, Laura Ingraham, Cal Thomas, Newt Gingrich and many others.

Whitewash: What the Media Won't Tell You About Hillary Clinton, But Conservatives Will

Order your copy today! Go to: www.mrc.org

     Tuesday, November 13 is the official release date.

 

Bored of Late Night Re-Runs? 'NewsBusted'
Comedy New This Week

     The strike by writers means this is the second week of late night comedy show re-runs. But the MRC's "NewsBusted" comedy video show is not on strike! A new episode, in fact, was just posted this morning (Tuesday). While Leno, Stewart, Letterman, O'Brien, Ferguson, Kimmel and Colbert are all in re-runs because of the strike by the Writers Guild of America, the MRC's NewsBusted comedy video show -- with jokes about politics, Hollywood and media bias -- is fresh again this week. Check out the latest two-and-a-half-minute comedy show now at the top of the MRC's NewsBusters blog: newsbusters.org

     And enjoy the archive of past shows: www.youtube.com

 

'Top Ten Ways Hillary Clinton Is Trying
to Improve Her Image'

     CBS's Late Show with David Letterman is in re-runs again this week because of the strike by writers, but that hasn't stopped Late Show viewers from submitting "Top Ten" entries to the show's Web site which is still updated daily. So, here are the winning entries posted on Saturday for last week's "Top Ten Contest," the "Top Ten Ways Hillary Clinton Is Trying to Improve Her Image." Late Show home page: www.cbs.com

10. She announced a new line of designer pantsuits (Jon E, San Diego, CA)

9. Promises to appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court (Gerardo G, Houston, TX)

8. Strongly endorses both sides of every issue (Jeff M, Middletown, NJ)

7. Apologizes and checks into rehab for no apparent reason (Paul L, Eagle River, WI)

6. Borrowing John Edwards' conditioner (Richard O, Crosby, TX)

5. Promises pudding for all Americans. Everyone loves pudding! (Mark M, Apopka, FL)

4. After two weeks of practice, can now sustain a 4-second smile (Ross B, New London, WI)

3. Helping Dennis Kucinich return to his home planet (Gary B, Hagerstown, MD)

2. Showing she's tough on drugs by throwing out Bill's Viagra (Mike H, Mount Tabor, NJ)

1. Offering to use her frigidity to combat global warming (Dave O, Ottawa, ON)


     #3 would be quite an achievement.

-- Brent Baker

 


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