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Introduction
Tin Foil Hat Award for Crazy Conspiracy Theories
Blue State Brigade Award for Campaign Reporting
Madness of King George Award for Bush Bashing
Bring Back the Iron Curtain Award
Slam Uncle Sam Award
Damn Those Conservatives Award
Terrorists Have Rights Too Award for Condemning “Domestic Spying”
Drowning Polar Bear Award for Promoting Gore’s Inconvenient “Truth”
Pain at the Pump Award for Bashing “Big Oil”
Media Hero Award
Barbra Streisand Political IQ Award for Celebrity Vapidity
Politics of Meaninglessness Award for the Silliest Analysis
Good Morning Morons Award
Cranky Dinosaur Award for Trashing the New Media
State of Denial Award for Refusing to Acknowledge Liberal Bias
Recognizing the Obvious Award for Admitting There’s Liberal Media Bias
Quote of the Year
2006 Award Judges
 
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Pain at the Pump Award for Bashing "Big Oil"
Correspondent Sharyn Alfonsi: "They’re used to living on fixed incomes, but now skyrocketing gas prices are forcing seniors to make difficult choices. Some are cutting back on medicine, others say they’re eating less. [To retiree Delbert Osborne] What do you think when you fill up your car with gasoline now?"
Delbert Osborne: "I think, ‘Have I got enough money to pay for all this and still get a loaf of bread?’"
Alfonsi: "Fortunately, 91-year-old Delbert Osborne doesn’t drive that much anymore. He relies on Meals on Wheels, a group that’s also in a squeeze. Volunteer drivers, most who are retirees on fixed incomes, are dropping out every day."
Volunteer: "Do they eat or do they help someone else? You know, that’s a hard decision for them to make."
CBS Evening News, May 1. [79 points]

Runners-up:
 


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"Arlen Specter says Congress should consider taxing the windfall profits being reaped by the oil companies, which I think is a no-brainer. These guys aren’t entrepreneurs — they are pirates."
— Geraldo Rivera on Fox’s Geraldo at Large, April 24. [75]
 


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Charles Gibson: "Today, ExxonMobil reported a profit number so big, it was staggering, even by oil company standards. ABC’s Betsy Stark takes a look at the numbers."
Reporter Betsy Stark: "The earnings reported today are astounding....Look at it this way: In 30 seconds, the ExxonMobil corporation makes about what an average American family earns in an entire year."
— ABC’s World News with Charles Gibson, July 27. [67]
 

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"The estimates are that the six large U.S. [oil] companies will have a total of $135 billion in profits for the year 2006. Don’t consumers have a right to be angry?"
"The public looks at a total of $135 billion over the year, that’s larger than the gross domestic product of Israel, and says isn’t that an obscene amount?"
— Co-host Charles Gibson to ConocoPhillips Chairman James Mulva on ABC’s Good Morning America, May 8. [50]
 


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Media Hero Award
"You can see it in the crowds. The thrill, the hope. How they surge toward him. You’re looking at an American political phenomenon. In state after state, in the furious final days of this crucial campaign, Illinois Senator Barack Obama has been the Democrat’s not-so-secret get-out-the-vote weapon. He inspires the party faithful, and many others, like no one else on the scene today...And the question you can sense on everyone’s mind, as they listen so intently to him, is he the one? Is Barack Obama the man, the black man, who could lead the Democrats back to the White House and maybe even unite the country?...Everywhere he goes, people want him to run for President, especially in Iowa, cradle of presidential contenders. Around here, they’re even naming babies after him."
— Co-anchor Terry Moran profiling Obama on ABC’s Nightline, November 6. [85 points]

Runners-up:
 

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"Obama’s personal appeal is made manifest when he steps down from the podium and is swarmed by well-wishers of all ages and hues....Obama seemed the political equivalent of a rainbow — a sudden preternatural event inspiring awe and ecstasy....There aren’t very many people — ebony, ivory or other — who have Obama’s distinctive portfolio of talents....Obama’s candor is reminiscent of John McCain....He transcends the racial divide so effortlessly that it seems reasonable to expect that he can bridge all the other divisions — and answer all the impossible questions — plaguing American public life."
Time senior writer Joe Klein in an October 23 cover story headlined, "Why Barack Obama Could Be the Next President." [59]
 
 
"He’s known as a liberal lion, and Massachusetts Senator Edward Kennedy has roared more than once during his more than 40 years in the Senate. Now Kennedy says America is on the wrong path, and in his new book America Back on Track, Kennedy details seven challenges facing this country....You talk about the things that need to be done, Senator, from ‘reclaiming our constitutional democracy, to protecting our national security, to guaranteeing health care for every American.’ Noble, noble goals for sure. Are they do-able, and is there a national will to achieve these things, in your view?"
— NBC’s Katie Couric to Senator Ted Kennedy on Today, April 20. [50]
 

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"You know you are the equivalent of a rock star in politics....Many people, afterwards [after Obama’s 2004 Democratic convention speech], they weren’t sure how to pronounce your name but they were moved by you. People were crying. You tapped into something. You touched people. What did you tap into that, that was missing?...If your party says to you, ‘We need you,’ and, and there’s already a drumbeat out there, will you respond?"
— Some of co-host Meredith Vieira’s questions to Senator Barack Obama on NBC’s Today, October 19. [45]
 


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Barbra Streisand Political IQ Award for Celebrity Vapidity
"No matter what the greatest tyrant in the world, the greatest terrorist in the world, George W. Bush says, we’re here to tell you: Not hundreds, not thousands, but millions of the American people, millions support your revolution, support your ideas, and we are expressing our solidarity with you."
— Singer/activist Harry Belafonte to Venezuela’s left-wing President Hugo Chavez during a televised rally on January 8, in a clip shown the following day on FNC’s Hannity & Colmes. [81 points]

Runners-up:
 


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"When they say ‘the terrorists want the Democrats to win,’ you say ‘are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist’s wet dream.’...When they say that actual combat veterans like John Kerry are ‘denigrating the troops,’ you say ‘you’re completely full of sh*t.’...If I was a troop, the support I would want back home would mainly come in the form of people pressuring Washington to get me out of this pointless nightmare. [applause] That’s how I would feel supported....There’s your talking point. Vote Republican and you vote to enable George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor — a retarded child emperor [laughter], but an emperor."
— Bill Maher on his HBO program Real Time with Bill Maher November 3, offering his suggested "talking points" for Democratic candidates. [44]
 


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"Failing to warn the citizens of a looming weapon of mass destruction — and that’s what global warming is — in order to protect oil company profits, well, that fits for me the definition of treason."
— HBO’s Bill Maher on Real Time, March 24. [35]
 


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Politics of Meaninglessness Award for the Silliest Analysis
"Finally tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who don’t like ’em and won’t watch ’em. In fact, I figure when Thomas Paine said, ‘These are the times that try men’s souls,’ he must have been talking about the start of another Winter Olympics. Because they’re so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try, too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks, who never heard of skating or skiing. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention."
— Bryant Gumbel on HBO’s Real Sports, Feb. 7. [72 points]

Runners-up:
 


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"Today, life on Earth is disappearing faster than the days when dinosaurs breathed their last, but for a very different reason....Us homo sapiens are turning out to be as destructive a force as any asteroid. Earth’s intricate web of ecosystems thrived for millions of years as natural paradises, until we came along, paved paradise, and put up a parking lot. Our assault on nature is killing off the very things we depend on for our own lives....The stark reality is that there are simply too many of us, and we consume way too much, especially here at home....It will take a massive global effort to make things right, but the solutions are not a secret: control population, recycle, reduce consumption, develop green technologies."
— NBC’s Matt Lauer hosting Countdown to Doomsday, a two-hour June 14 Sci-Fi Channel special. [64]
 


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Katie Couric: "A passionate student of history, Condi Rice believes turmoil often precedes periods of peace and stability. And she rejects the notion that the U.S. is a bully, imposing its values on the world."
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice: "What’s wrong with assistance so that people can have their full and complete right to the very liberties and freedoms that we enjoy?"
Couric to Rice: "To quote my daughter, ‘Who made us the boss of them?’"
— CBS’s 60 Minutes, September 24. [55]
 


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