is four days away, and I’m through dicking around with you. Here are the
leads, here are your talking points: One, when they say ‘Democrats will
raise taxes,’ you say, ‘We have to because someone spent all the money
in the world cutting Paris Hilton’s taxes and not killing Osama bin
"Two, when they say the ‘terrorists want the Democrats to win,’ you say,
‘Are you insane? George Bush has been a terrorist’s wet dream.’ He
inflames radical hatred against America and then runs on offering to
protect us from it. It’s like a guy throwing shit on you and then
selling you relief from the flies. [laughter and applause]
"Three, when they say ‘cut and run’ or ‘defeatocrat,’ you say, ‘Bush
lost the war, period.’ [applause] All this nonsense about the violence
is getting worse over there because they’re trying to influence the
election, no, it’s getting worse because you drew up the post-war plans
on the back of a cocktail napkin at Applebee’s. [applause] And of course
Democrats want to win, but that’s impossible now that you’ve
ethnically-cleansed the place by making it unlivable — just like you did
with New Orleans. [applause]....
"There’s your talking points. Vote Republican and you vote to enable
George Bush to keep ruling as an emperor — a retarded child emperor
[laughter], but an emperor."
— Bill Maher on his HBO program Real Time with Bill Maher
November 3, offering his suggested "talking points" for Democratic
President George W. Bush, I think Cheney, I think Rumsfeld, I think all
of these people have lost any moral integrity. I find what we are doing
is hugely immoral....Al-Qaeda tortures. We torture. Al-Qaeda’s killed
innocent people. We kill innocent people....We have no business doing
what we do."
— Singer/activist Harry Belafonte on CNN’s The Situation Room,
And the winner is...
Rosie O’Donnell: "As a result of the [9/11] attack and the killing
of nearly 3,000 innocent people, we invaded two countries and killed
innocent people in their countries."
Co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck: "But do you understand that, that
the belief funding those attacks, okay, that is widespread. And if you
take radical Islam and if you want to talk about what’s going on there,
you have to-"
O’Donnell, interrupting: "Wait just one second. Radical
Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like
America [loud applause]."
— Exchange on ABC’s The View, September 12.